problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
my poor anus
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
