We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
