she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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