Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Still dying that you shit outside
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
