i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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