I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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