I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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