He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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