Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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