K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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