I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
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After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
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but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
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