i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
