I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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