So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
