can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
