Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
