Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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