I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
