Do you still have your period?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
