im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
