I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just googled if crying burns calories
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
