wake up i wanna do it froggy style
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
