just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
im holly from the hills drunk
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
