when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize