bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
be right there i have to get my cape
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
