none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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