we're blogging at a bar
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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