I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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