the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
