jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
