So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
