maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
