We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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