everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
