Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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