He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
