im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
