I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
