I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
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Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
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The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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