Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just cropdusted the office
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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