I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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