I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Panties = found
Randomize
