Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
