That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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