Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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