Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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