another moral hangover. fuck.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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