I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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