I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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