i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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