Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
