Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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