just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
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I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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