i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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