I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
is it fun? or sober?
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