and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
