): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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