i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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