Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
