I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
