dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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