We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
