I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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