My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
