I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
