i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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