I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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